Why am I here

Why is it so difficult to achieve new year resolutions and how are we overcoming these

barriers to our personal growth and success?

Many have written on this topic including myself. The goal of this this articles to

investigate the above questions and briefly reflect on the lessons that we gain from the

year 2020 to prepare ourselves to some degree for the new year, but not only prepare

ourselves but to a greater extent better ourselves to become what we are not yet.

There are various factors that contribute to not achieving or achieving our new year

resolution. For myself when I do introspection, I noted that a big barrier is my belief

system. On a conscious level I want to achieve my goals but subconsciously I have

fallacies about myself that I am not worthy of success and happiness. That good things

happens to others not me alone. In other words, the inferiority complex, thinking of your

lesser than what you think of others. This is a universal phenomenon but it is more

visibly noted in colored and black South Africans and the historical disadvantaged cross

the world, in South Africa this because of the manner the apartheid system condition the

mentioned to think of themselves and the youth of today were fostered by parents that

were thought to view themselves as inferior in comparison to other ethnic groups.

Secondly, we want change to happen immediately. We want to achieve something that

will take months of preparation within a matter of weeks. For an example let’s take that

you want to lose weight. This will note happen within the next few weeks, because there

are fundamental behavior changes and shift in thinking that must take place before this

is achieved. It will require an exercise program, a change in diet and in some case to

learn from someone that has achieved what you want. This will help you get a model

that has worked and by using their model for losing weight it will increase your chances

of getting the desired results. What is most important is to note that life is a marathon

and we should not treat the achievement of our new year resolutions as a sprint

because it will require consistent effort over time to see them realized.

At times we feel pressure to set goals or resolutions for the new year be it personal and

professional. It is this pressure that makes us abandon our resolutions before February

of the new year. We need to evaluate how achieving these goals or resolutions will

affect those dear to our hearts this includes family and friends. When achieving your

goal will it improve the livelihood of those you love? Answering this question will sustain

you to go after your resolutions when things get difficult. You will endure the endless

hours of work that needs to be done because you are motivated to give it all. This is

because you are not doing it for yourself but to impact those you love positively. When

we love those close to us this becomes the drivers of our detentions it is difficult to

abandon your resolutions when you are doing it for those you love.

A pastor once said that is not what you do in church that matters because all of us are

behaving at our best, but it is what we do after church that determines our faith and

beliefs. The same can be said about setting resolutions we can have the best of

intentions but if there is no action that is accompanied with the best of intentions it is a

hopeless case. Action is the single factor that will give you the possibility to achieve

your resolutions. But we procrastinate and fear to fail because we suffer for the

inferiority complex. The notion that failing is bad was taught to us by the schooling

system. It is this notion that we need to abolish if we want to act and remain committed

to our resolutions. I am a firm believer that doing something whether you fail or not is an

achievement on its own.

Get someone to keep you accountable because it easy to stop when you feel alone.

When you are on the journey to achieve your objectives, it is important to have a person

that will remind you why you are doing what you are doing. They will give you the

necessary support when you feel like giving up. As a recovering drug addict, I have

seen the importance of have someone to keep you accountable because there were

events in my life that made me question the wisdom of my decision to live a sober

lifestyle. It is at such moments when the value of an accountability partner is seen, in

your darkest hour when you feel that it is not worthy it. Your accountability partner will

hold you to your resolution.

The year 2020 have shown us that change can happen at any time. And during a crisis

of the pandemic that we were reminded that although we set goals that we need to

adjust them with the current change of events. As random things may seem there can

always be a plan to rearrange your resolutions with the challenges and obstacles that

you will encounter during the new year.

In conclusion:

Let us remind ourselves that is possible. If you forget everything I wrote and just

remember the words that it is possible and remind yourself each morning that your

resolutions are possible to be achieved. I will be satisfied that a change in your beliefs

system is taking place and you will become what you are not yet.

By Remigio Angelo Dingashe